On Where to Take Your Date
My official review of real spots I've been to on real dates in NYC and the quality of the experience.
In order to qualify for this list the location must have been the site of a date I went on. Some of these were first dates, some third, and some halfway into a year long relationship. This isn’t every place I’ve ever been on a date, just a few that came to mind.
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Who this is for: A music lover interested in local bands, someone who likes sitting outside, fans of neon signage
I went to a show at TV eye on a first date with a 6’3” Ridgewood leftist who always wore hats that I encountered at a birthday party. The actual show was very memorable and I find this to be a unique spot to bring your date that may impress them if they aren’t familiar with the area. He did force me to go through my Spotify with him at the booth near the bar which I found mildly distasteful.
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Bouquet Wine Bar / Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Who this is for: Natural wine lovers, women who like small plates, people who like pop ups from local vendors
I went on a first date with a notable young film critic and Ivy League film PHD to this Greenpoint location. I found him easy to talk to and the music wasn't too loud. For Greenpoint, this wasn't overrun with pickle ball playing high salary young people and I had a pleasant evening. He wasn’t particularly impressed with my recent watch history on Letterboxd and proceeded to explain Anges Varda to me, with whom I am familiar. I ultimately gave him a short kiss before getting into the Nassau Ave G station but I don’t think he’ll remember me.
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Coyote Club / Bedstuy, Brooklyn
Who this is for: People who carry cash and love dive bars, cigarette smokers in need of an outdoor area, someone willing to fight for much coveted booth
I have mild beef with this bar as a date location in part because they suffer from music-too-loud-to-order-a-beer syndrome and ugh-no-the-booths-are-full-disease. That being said I find myself returning here because it’s affordable, comfortable, and has plenty of outdoor space. I went on first date here with an actor who expressed a love for Cum Town and Chapo Trap House, but I proceeded to see him for about a year so I guess I can’t really be too harsh.
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Casa Adela / East Village, NYC
Who this is for: A meat (and probably pork) eater, someone looking to learn about the long Puerto Rican legacy in NYC at an authentic spot, people who like beans
My East Village graffiti boyfriend lived a few blocks away from this absolute gem of a restaurant. Here, you receive a straightforward limited menu of Puerto Rican classics. I don’t particularly remember what we discussed on the day we dined here, but I remember scarfing down a cup full of beans and feeling satisfied after a tasty affordable meal.
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The Brooklyn Mirage / East Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Who this is for: Someone who likes to dance and doesn’t mind paying for drinks with a scannable bracelet, someone with an appreciation for DJs and large scale sets, someone unbothered by flashing lights
I attended a concert at here on a date with someone I consider to be a super funny and overall exceedingly sweet person. Don’t be surprised when you are sorted into the over 26 or under 26 lines (this is not the venue for age gap queens). I was confronted with new-fangled technology like my tap-to-pay wristband which I used to buy a near $20 tequila soda. That being said, the huge crowds this venue allows can give your date a fun atmosphere and you’ll be impressed with the set design and guaranteed dancing. Seems like they’ve been closed for renovations for a while… what are the Williamsburg finance EDM heads going to do about that?
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The Brooklyn Center for Theater Research / Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Who this is for: Former theater kids who are interested in Dimes Square and it’s cultural output, fans of community theater and young people writing plays
I had sort of a meet-cute encounter with a beautiful person at the humble apartment-style Greenpoint location that is this community theater. In fact, this is a venue often frequented by The Beautiful People who emerge from their apartments in Lower Manhattan, Greenpoint, and Clinton Hill and go on a scene-y pilgrimage to these locations. You will likely already follow someone on Instagram who has been in one of these plays or perhaps even dated the owner and playwright Mathew Gasda. Cheap theater and internet-savvy plays means I probably will return, at least to feel like I’m in the know.
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Boat Bar / Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Who this is for: Someone who likes to play bar games like shuffleboard and darts, people who drink beer, cravers of the casual option
I went on a strange first date to this bar with a woman who worked for Doc Marten’s and claimed to own over a hundred pairs in my size. She showed me paintings she had made of decapitated ducks and I got increasingly drunk off of draft Pilsner. Despite this being a lesbian encounter, I would recommend bringing boys here. I think it has enough games and wall art to keep them entertained.
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Who this is for: Someone who love puppets and experimental theater, people who have always wondered what that place is across from KGB Bar, and someone willing to wait in line for a cheap seat
Towards the end of my time with the actor I saw a show he worked on at La MaMa in the East Village. It was my first time at the venue and I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but it totally knocked my socks off. It may have been this particular show which was highly engaging, puppet-based, written by a disaffected Russian, and extremely bizarre. But, I left feeling like this kind of thing is sort of the point of the arts in New York. This is for people with an open mind who don’t want to spend Broadway prices and crave something different.
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Back Pocket Bar / Hells Kitchen, NYC
Who is this for: People interested in a candle-lit experience at a hightop table, someone who needs to travel into the city from Jersey, and someone looking for something private where you won’t see someone from college.
I went on dates with an Egyptian guy from Jersey City who I often met halfway in Manhattan. We went to this bar on our first date and I remember being excited and somewhat enamored by him. It may have been the atmosphere of the bar which was dimly lit and quite small, because I think both of us realized we didn't quite have the chemistry needed to make it work. He did make fun of my totally normal salary on this date, but I guess that comment was offset but the Ubers he paid for that took me from his high-rise in Jersey City all the way to my basement apartment in Brooklyn.
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The Ace Hotel Brooklyn / Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
Who is this for: People who have never been to Brooklyn and need to be shown something high class to get them out of Manhattan, lovers of cocktails, and someone with money who may need to spend the night
In a fumble of epic proportions I agreed to meet my longtime ex at the Ace Hotel bar while he was in town for a layover. I love this hotel bar’s atmosphere and how flexible of a venue it can become. You can easily take (and I have) your coworkers, your mother, your friend, or your ex here and no one will bat an eye. The cocktails are relatively expensive and if you get too drunk you may want to stay over which will probably cost you half of your rent. Proceed with caution as the beauty can be tempting and resist the urge to engage in drawn out ex lover nostalgia. Nonetheless, fabulous hotel bar.
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Spectacle Theater / Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Who is this for: A movie-buff who claims they’ve seen everything, someone nostalgic for $5 movie tickets, and someone with an interest in Noir, Westerns, or Political Cinema
On a crisp November evening I attended a Noir-vember screening at this quaint community theater. I attended a previous noir double feature that month and found it good enough to return soon after. I love movies but finding someone to date in New York who appreciates movies on similar level with out pretension or a director-sized ego can be a difficult balance to strike. You can impress the average film buff by knowing about this small theater, and its programming is pretty off the beaten path. Plus, they truly abide by the $5 ticket model a policy I hope to be expanded to all theaters in Zohran’s America.
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El Born / Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Who is this for: People who need to get a deal, someone you can trust not to post about this on TikTok, and Tapas lovers
My former roommate introduced me to this one and I took my graffiti boyfriend here on our first date. On Tuesdays, they have unlimited tapas for $20, meaning you can eat as many croquettes and shishito peppers as your heart desires. It can get a bit crowded on Tuesdays because of this deal, so any other week night works if you’re interested in the big ticket items like seafood paella which doesn't appear on the reduced price menu. On this particular date, we discovered a shared love of Elliot Smith, which I am going to warn you is *not* enough reason to date someone 10 years older than you.
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The Living Gallery / Bushwick, Brooklyn
Who is this for: An artist-type who is tired of blue chip galleries, someone interested in free or low cost events, a person who may donate to the cause at the door
I actually can’t recall if the event I attended with this person was a date, because we both dated and hung out regularly as friends after the break up. I’m including this night and venue on the list anyhow because it came to mind. This gallery space at the Bestuy-Bushwick border is an interesting venue often rented out by local artists to display their work, show their short films, and read their writing. On this night, we stood in a crowded room and listened to music critics read from their pieces for a popular music blog. I would really recommend going here when there is something on the schedule and not just stumbling by because they don’t really have an active bar or seating or anything. If you get bored, I recommend Birdy’s or Ornithology Jazz club across the street. Also the Mexican Deli next to Happyfun Hideaway has amazing food, try that too.
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Who this is for: An appreciator of the fireplace and wood paneled walls, someone who is interested in the aesthetic of an old inn and quality cocktails, and someone who doesn’t mind carrying cash or paying the ATM fee
I’ve taken a couple dates here because I like the cozy atmosphere and they make a good dirty martini. Most recently, I took a Greek guy here who told me that his main job is managing Tracy Morgan from 30 Rock’s many tropical fishtanks. I guess these tanks are so large that you can scuba dive inside them? I wondered if this a potentially illegal business given the pictures he showed me of fish I’ve never seen before, but I’m here to see if we should kiss not judge him on the basis of the law. Dynaco is a great bar for first dates and if there isn’t space or it comes off as a little too formal for whoever you bring, you can always try Do or Dive next door for a more traditional dive bar or Swan, the sports bar up the street, if they want to watch the game.
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Mystic Aquarium / Mystic, Connecticut
Who this is for: Someone with a car, an animal lover mesmerized by the beauty of the ocean, someone you can spend the whole day with
If you’re looking for something a little more adventurous, you may want to make the trip up to this incredible partially-outdoor aquarium. This is a true jewel of the North East and mostly what’s on display is from the local Atlantic waters. Even more compelling this that this aquarium does a lot of injured animal rehabilitation and rerelease, so you can feel a little less skeeved out that you’re in a zoo environment. I went here with an ex boyfriend and I think it was sort of a stand out penguin-filled adventure. They have food inside the park, though it’s mostly fried, and their gift shop has insanely nice stuffed animals and key chains.
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Ultimately, a good date isn’t really about where you go but how you get along. Still, I do think a date can be enhanced by trying somewhere that fits your shared interests or even just your night-of mood. There’s so much more out there than getting a beer at the closest bar to your house and it only takes a little bit of effort to impress someone. Especially in the world of dating apps, your date destination may be the thing that makes you stand out. If you're already with someone, it’s never too late to up your game and make a memory. Most importantly, once you’re steadily together break out of the impulse to watch something at home and get delivery. Even if you watch something groundbreaking, you’ll be fighting for space in your partner’s memory. Get out there and date like you mean it.
love the recs but the anecdotes about your dates? way more entertaining